A clear path to more self-control

We live in a world full of distraction. More than ever, our senses are flooded with stimuli. We quickly get used to this flood of information – and as a result, its absence feels uncomfortable. We prefer distraction to silence.
At the slightest sign of boredom, we reach for our smartphones.

We are practically addicted to information.

As with any addiction, we increase the dose as soon as we get used to the previous one. We consume information with a very high degree of stimulation. As a result, our self-awareness has lost its sensitivity. Our body communicates with us constantly. But we have stopped listening properly.

Our body reacts to impulses. These can come from ourselves or from our surroundings.

It is astonishing what happens when we observe the reactions of our body.
It sounds so simple that our intellect refuses to acknowledge its importance. If we observe without consciously interacting, we can see how our body reacts to impulses.

Our body reacts in the form of emotions. It reacts to the people around us, our surroundings and our own thoughts.

There are connections between event, impulse and reaction. These connections need to be recognised and understood. All we have to do is pay conscious attention to our sensations and their cause.

Benefits of this technique

This technique leads to a clearer awareness, which brings numerous benefits. The following two, however, are the key ones.

Self-control

We begin to understand where our actions come from. This makes it easier to respond consciously and in a controlled way. Especially in emotionally intense situations, this can be decisive. Conscious observation creates a gap between reaction and behaviour. Here we have the chance to choose a new behaviour. This is a deep form of self-control.

Self-knowledge

We separate ourselves from the reacting part of us. This creates a higher awareness. We are then able to see our behaviour as an outsider would. This is a powerful form of self-knowledge.

Unconscious

Event → Impulse → Reaction → Behaviour

Conscious

Event → Impulse → Reaction (Observation → Decision) → Behaviour

Example:

Event → A friend criticises us (neutral)

Impulse → Criticism is often perceived as negative (negative)

Reaction (observation) → Automatic reaction (getting defensive, counter-attacking). It is important to recognise how this automatism works.

GAP (decision) → Observation creates a gap at this point. We can use it to reconsider and master our behaviour.

Behaviour → Should not be impulsive but considered (constructive)

Every event is linked to an impulse. It is important to recognise which reactions these impulses trigger in us.

This helps us determine our own behaviour, even in extreme situations. At the same time, it has a positive effect on our identity. More on this in my essay The power of our identity.